Hm, where to begin with my blog. I guess I just want this to be a place for me to be me. And that’s my excuse for the not so perfect grammar. I work from home now, cake making as often as I can. But there are times I’d like to fill with a little blogging about my day to day.
I’ve actually always loved writing. When I was at school, english was my dreamiest subject. Maybe it’s unusual to find a subject dreamy? That’s okay with me. Learning lovely new words and imagining Mr Darcy’s world in my head ... those lessons were therapeutic.
Now cake making is therapeutic. And I’ve learnt to treasure things I find therapeutic. Mostly because I’ve spent a lot of time feeling anxious. I started having a whole lot of anxiety halfway through secondary school. It just took a hold of me and my ways. I dreaded school, and being around people who didn’t really know me. I would leave lessons often and go home early a lot, I found the smallest things so unsettling. Mostly I just couldn’t wait to go to sleep.
It’s all a bit dreary really isn’t it? But I’m not sorry for any of it anymore. It’s all got me here … to this kind of cosy, cake crazy place. And when I met my boyfriend in sixth form, who by the way is mostly care free and just pretty special … life got lighter and less painful. When he saw me go into my shell, he would just love me more and make it seem less awful. I feel kinda bad for bombarding you with all of this non cakey, totally deep stuff (on my first post!) but anxiety was a big part of my life for so long. And I know there are other people behind their screens who have felt it’s crippling ways. I want to be able to help you see the wonder of spending time doing something you love.
Making cakes has shown me the beauty of being creative. It has helped a wildly creative side of me overtake my seriously sensitive side. And it's always been there. My mum has shared so much love and baking with me since forever. Baking is home.
I read heaps of cake making books and articles and have dreams of teaching you how to make the perfect cupcake! I am also a chocoholic and peanut butter lovin’ nutella fan. So I consider myself up there with ‘all things sweet’ geniuses.
Hopefully my first post has shown you the most real reason behind my love of cake making. And maybe even inspired you to pick up some eggs and flour and sugar and make a mess in the kitchen and see if you feel relaxed?! Really though, let's stop searching for reasons for our problems, and find time to do the things we absolutely love.
The photos below don't really go with my words, I just wanted to share some square moments with you from this week. My next post will be more cakey and day to day like and hopefully soon. Thanks for stopping by.
I spent some time reading my Peggy Porschen book
and took a trip to the Farm Shop for tulips and strawberries.
Being around fresh fruit and veg is so pleasing after Easter weekend's chocolate binge ...
homemade trifle doesn't count.
And we realised, after 5 years of being together, that we've never watched Only Fools & Horses together ... and so it begins ...